Drunk on Sadness

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

To my favorite teacher
told me never give up
To my fifth grade crush
Who I thought I really loved
To the guys I've missed and the girls we've kissed
Where are you now

To my ex-best friends
Don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite band
Sing along in my car
To the face I see in my memory
Where are you now

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend
I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend
Sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved
Didn't show it enough
Where are you now

Where are you now
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

I know we'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change but I know
I won't forget you

To the ones who came
Who we're there from the start
To the love that left
And took a piece of my heart
To the few who'd swear
They'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be how I am
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you
I'd be nothing
Where are you now?

Endless Cycle Of Blah

I have no ideas – I feel like this con-artist story is lackadaisical. Something I thought about in a dream that can really only work once. I’d love to just turn it into a story about me writing a story, but genius like Adaptation can really only happen once. (Damn you Charlie) so instead I sit here, typing out my thoughts, looking over my shoulder, hoping my boss doesn’t decide that today is the day to finally let me go. This is the only time in my life I have ever (and will ever) wish that I had a cubical. Something about be stranded by short fake walls seems comforting right now. It’s not that anyone can really sneak up on me. The building is pretty old and the floors creak and echo whenever someone walks down the hall. In fact I’ve gotten into the habit of memorizing peoples footsteps. I can almost tell, whoever it is, and sometimes even what they want by the sounds of steps. The thing is I don’t always stop what I am doing when I hear someone coming, because, well, they usually just walk on by. She has a habit of walking up and stopping to ask me something without actually saying my name. She just stands there and expects me to answer her. Which I guess is reasonable, considering we all know I heard her walk up. I guess what I really wish, is that we didn’t have a turn the other cheek policy. I feel like I’m a kid again, and I still don’t have any rules. It’s not a big deal considering that I am a good, well-mannered person who is more trouble to herself then she would ever be to anyone else, but like everyone, I need rules. No matter what anyone says they need and want rules, even if it’s just something to rebel against. The point is, like a child, I want to be told no. I want someone to yell at me and take away my toys. I want them to cut off internet from my computer, I want them to tell me not to just sit here and wait for the phone to ring. I want the same things I wanted when I was twelve. I want to matter. I want to feel important. I want people to care that I come in late, I want people to care that I take ten-minute bathroom breaks. I want people to care that I don’t do my job. No one cares, because I don’t care, I don’t care because no one else does. My life is an endless cycle of BLAH!

Unemployed

I cannot believe this – I am going to lose my job. It’s interesting that just a few weeks ago, just a few days ago, hell last night, I was telling everyone how much I hate my job. Well don’t worry folks, I haven’t changed my mind, but now that I am about to be jobless I have realized. . . .I WILL BE JOBLESS! First of all, I am a human being and I can’t afford not to have a job. I need to work, because I’ve got bills to pay. I can’t lose my job, at least right now! Hell it’s October! Soon it’ll be Thanksgiving, then Christmas! And that’s just a hop-skip and a jump away from spring semester and once school starts I won’t even have time to have a job! Oh shit I am buggin.

Anyone know someone who’s hiring?

Dream Bride

Dream A Little Dream. . . by SJJH featuring white tops

My Heart by Paramore (cover)

As covered (?) by the Grattan sisters !
*Some wickedly talented people here!*

Best Mix Ever?

Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds to Mars
Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore
A Modern Myth - 30 Seconds to Mars
Hero/Heroine (Acoustic) [Bonus Track] - Boys Like Girls
If It Means a Lot to You - A Day to Remember
Cat and Mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Ignorance - Paramore
Toxicity - System Of A Down
I Miss You - Incubus
I Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
Careful - Paramore
The Silence - Mayday Parade
If I Only Had the Heart - The Maine
Playing God - Paramore
Kids In Love - Mayday Parade
The Kill [Bury Me] (Edit) - 30 Seconds to Mars
Miracle - Paramore
The Only Exception - Paramore
Glitter In the Air - P!nk
Remembering Sunday - All Time Low

I'm kind of obsessed with this mix I made - I've been listening to it all week